Morrie was an individual who scheduled every part of his day. He did everything in a certain order, from the time he got up until he went to bed. He knew everything that would happen ahead of time, which made his day run smoothly. If anything disrupted his flow at any point, his day was ruined.
When he first married his wife, she went along with everything he did. Over time, she became interested in starting her own home business. She found a young entrepreneur who shared information, and helpful mindset changes and encouraging words. After her husband returned from work, had eaten dinner and settled in front of the TV, his wife excitedly shared with him all that she had discovered over the course of a few days.
This was a change Morrie had not anticipated. He demeaned her idea and started picking it apart. He said all the concepts were overwhelming and deterred her from following her heart.
At the core of this message was his desire to keep everything the same. She later heard rumors that jobs like his were being eliminated across the state. In anticipation of that eventuality, she took a job outside the home.
This was another unexpected change for Morrie. He voiced that he didn’t like her new friends, her boss or her job. Then he complained that didn’t like her old friends either. Now that she was working, she spent less time on the interests she had pursued before and during their early marriage. She wanted to devote time to them but Morrie dictated when she could and couldn’t engage in them and for what length of time. She worked within those parameters for a while. When she opted to sacrifice watching TV to devote more time to her hobbies, Morrie hit the roof.
As a result of this final unexpected change, Morrie became so short tempered and controlling, his wife suggested they get counseling. His wife was curious and growing. She was able to anticipate change and make adjustments. Because he was unwilling or unable to relinquish his stranglehold on keeping the status quo, the marriage eventually ended. He went back to his predictable routine (and lost his job), and she went on to become a successful entrepreneur.
What does this mean for you?
Most of us are not fans of change, but change is inevitable. To survive and thrive we need to adapt. Embracing change forces us to grow and develop. It can make us more creative. The more we accept change, the easier it is for us to adjust. Not all change is unwelcome. But if too much change occurs in a short period of time, it may feel overwhelming. In those cases, it is necessary to get assistance to learn new coping skills.
We must be aware of when we’re projecting our expectations onto another person’s ideas. Just because we wouldn’t want to follow a certain path doesn’t mean we should discourage them. Instead, we should encourage them to live up to their fullest potential.
An example would be if a new author comes to me with a manuscript. I can’t expect them to know what it took me years to learn. I gain nothing by marking up their work with red correction marks, (Yes, I’ve heard of that happening) even if it’s to show them where it isn’t up to industry standards. That’s discouraging. But, I can encourage them to work with me so that together we can make their first draft a marketable property worthy of the attention it deserves in the marketplace.
It could be the author has ideas for many more for books. By partnering with them through the ghostwriting process, I can show them a lot that can be applied to future books. In this way, they’re not only encouraged, they’re empowered!
To learn more about working with me on your book, click here to snag your free 30-minute consultation. Let’s talk through your idea and any questions you have.