Setbacks and Silver Linings


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We may have the perspective that we don’t always get what we want in this life and that’s just the way it is. But what if there’s really more to it than that? There seem to be a lot more silver linings these days, but you must not only expect to find them but be watching for them.

This summer, I read Dean Graziosi’s book, Millionaire Success Habits. Among the many precious nuggets and gems he shared this:

“Confidence comes from courage. Life doesn’t happen to us, it happens for us.”

Which echoes the last half of a Bible verse in Romans, “…if God is for us, who can be against us?”

For just a moment, imagine God for us. Life happens for us. Let the very idea sink in. If you were to wear this perspective for even part of your day, how would it change things for you? Would you start looking for the ways that it’s true or the ways that it’s false?
We’ve all wanted things that we didn’t get right away. It’s only later in hindsight that we see that we needed to grow in order to get the thing.

Can you imagine a doctor getting patients ahead of his training and education? A pilot who hasn’t passed flight school?

Not sure how to begin? Hire Juli Ocean to write your bookOr maybe you’ve tried something new that didn’t work out like you thought. Did you quit or keep going? I try to imagine any new venture as a baby learning to walk. That baby isn’t born into the world cursing the fact that he cannot walk. He has to grow and strengthen muscles before he gets to that liberating day. So why do we think that when we try something for the first time that we should catch on right away?

  • What would your efforts look like if you were easier on yourself?
  • What would it look like if instead of expecting to succeed your first time out, you said, no matter how long this takes, I will learn it because it’s a valuable life skill?
  • What if you invested in yourself and hired a tutor or a mentor to help you learn the thing you’ve struggled with on your own?

It shouldn’t surprise any bloggers that even running a WordPress account can be challenging. I set out 7 years ago to learn it when I saw that a lot of influencers were using it.  As easy as my current platform was, it wasn’t able to do all that I needed it to do. I bought books, looked at the site repeatedly, and watched videos. And still, my mind seemed unable to wrap itself around the platform in a way that I could retain and use.

I paid a highly intelligent woman who was very knowledgeable about such things and she walked me through the set-up of banners and menus and clouds. And now, like that baby, I can walk without much effort. Now I can use my website to promote my business of ghostwriting and mentoring writers.

What has happened to you recently? Can you find the silver lining in the circumstance and see how regardless of that event, life is for you? What are you going through right now? Are you able to see how a set back was for your best? How a delay or even the destruction of a plan turned out to be a blessing in disguise?

Keep in mind that no matter what you’re going through, your story, the way you come through it, the knowledge you learned through that experience will not only aid in your personal character development, making you a more compassionate, more resilient being, you will run into someone that needs to know exactly how you have endured.

Years ago when I was living in an abusive relationship, that person tried to shut down Juli Ocean gets fired up about writing books. For a few 20-minute consultation, contact her dreams. At that time, on survival mode, I couldn’t imagine how I could bring something of value to the marketplace. I eventually exited that relationship and began building on my strengths. That experience compelled me to finish my first fiction book. Later, as a ghostwriter, I was able to assist a woman who had been through a very similar life with completing her memoir.

We can’t know how our life events will present those silver linings. As humans, we like a certain amount of sameness and predictability. But life isn’t only about that. Life happens to us so we can become better versions of ourselves, more fulfilled in our lives, more enriched through experiences and sharing those with others.

I’d love to hear from you. Tell us about one of your setbacks or silver linings. How has seeing them affected your life?


Just a reminder: I haven’t forgotten about you! If you thought you missed a post last week, you didn’t. This blog is currently on a bi-monthly schedule. Sign up to get posts emailed directly to your in box so you never miss a post. And, if you’re interested in hiring me to ghostwrite for you, contact me for a free 20-minute consultation.

Thanks for stopping by. Let me hear from you!